Weekly Wisdom

Where I am Today

19 July 2026 • 15:34 Hrs • Tim Hortons – Golf Course Road, Gurugram, India

This is my first Wisdom Blog. It is dedicated to everyone who is feeling a little low in life right now, who doesn't know what to do, what the future holds, or which path they need to take. To those wondering: Will I be able to make it in life, or will I stay stuck in this current trap forever?

I was in that exact same place with the same questions, the same confusion, and the same doubts back in 2018. Back then, there was no hope, no understanding. All there was was confusion and uncertainty.

Sometimes, trying to understand someone else becomes easy in life. But when it comes to understanding our own self, we become harsh and build barriers and restrictions around us. I still remember the exact date: March 27, 2018. That was the first time I started feeling that something was amiss within myself. I felt an uncomfortableness within my body and felt like I didn't fit into the world around me.

I didn't have anyone to talk to. I wasn't able to find the right person to speak with, and I didn't even know what to speak or how to put my feelings into words to express the Muted Thunder of emotions to someone. This led to loneliness, emptiness, low self-esteem, and keeping myself away from the crowd. I even thought of ending this unwanted human life, or removing the burden of it from society.

Every day, I used to try to understand all those questions and tried to fit into the parameters of society. Hustling all day only to end the day with the exact same questions became my daily routine. I was at a stage of life where others were focusing on their careers, their hobbies, their interests, and building their futures. But I was hardly able to find a reason for living. A person can only focus on those external things when they are satisfied with themselves, in their body, or with their thoughts.

I hope all those who are reading this are able to understand what I am talking about and what I am expressing.

I had my whole life ahead of me, but I was without any path or hope. Yet, there were people around me who(My Family) had high expectations from me. My family had given me an immense amount of love, support, and care from the moment I was born. I was in a dilemma: How can I tell them that whatever expectations you have from me, I am shattering them all…

As an 18-year-old child who had just completed schooling, who hadn't even entered the real world yet, Is thinking of ending their life.

Ahh... I just shivered while writing all this. I am getting flashbacks right now.

And even still, I am amazed at how I managed from there. I am living a life which I always used to see only in my dreams. I feel surprised that I am finally that person whom I used to imagine in the mirror—the person I wanted to be.

No magic, no turning upside down has happened. It was just a day-by-day journey which I have lived. Most importantly, I never lost the hope and courage that I gathered after so many sleepless nights.

I will discuss all of that in my next blog—how I re-gathered my courage, how I found hope, and which path I followed that allowed me to become the person I am today.